I showed God all my weaknesses
When God called me back to Him, I already believed. I had faith. I knew He lived, that He is risen, that He is the only God and was truly God. Yet, I found myself doubting the journey ahead, filled with anxieties and trepidation over what it would mean for me to identify as a Christian. The cruelest people I had ever come across in my life were Christians. Judgmental, harsh, brutal, self-righteous, always condemning, always finding something wrong in others. Is this what I would also amount to?
“I don’t want to be a hypocritical Christian,” I would sternly say, in my prayers and my fellowship with Him. “If I am incapable of fulfilling Your burdening laws and requirements, I’ll simply let you know.” By saying this, I meant, if the Scriptures say “love your neighbour” and I did not have any love for my neighbour, then I would simply go to God and let Him know that I have no love for my neighbour. If the Scriptures say “forgive one another” and all I had within me was resentment, anger, rage and bitterness against many people, I would simply go to God and let Him know that I am not ready forgive and I doubt that I ever will be.
It has been slightly over two years since then. This is no longer the approach I have toward God. I have grown in the Lord in that time. And when Scriptures say in 1st Thessalonians 5: 16–18:
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
I do it, and I mean it when I do. So how did I get to this point?
The Scriptures teach us about the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of Christ, identifying Him on several occasions as the Spirit of truth.
John 16: 13;
But when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth
John 15: 26;
But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of Truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.
John 14: 16–19;
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him or knows him. You will know Him for he dwells with you and will be in you.
In reading these verses I realise that it is impossible for the Spirit of Truth to bear witness to a lie, or in other words, He cannot confirm a lie.
When Christ reconciled me back to Him, I had just turned away from being atheist, atheism being a philosophy that challenges the existence of God. I had, rather quietly, pursued it throughout my late teens and early 20s, discerning it the most honest approach to life and to our existence. But now I believed, and my desire for abject honesty was still very present. That is why I never hid anything from God, always reiterating that I will not pretend to be something I’m not.
Looking back, and I know many will not agree with me, I truly believe this was the right approach. At the time, I was under the impression that I was challenging God. “You say that you love me, right? Well here’s ALL of me, do you still love me?”
The results I got, to my surprise, were the exact opposite. Where I was filled with hate and detest for some, He filled me with super abounding love. Where I had bitterness, resentment, anger and rage, He filled me with compassion, and kindness and patience. Where I was stubborn and insubordinate, He filled me with willingness and desire to fulfil His will.
Now I did not feel obliged to love my neighbour, I loved because He first loved me and love has become second nature to me. I no longer felt burdened with the requirement to forgive others, I was instead filled with compassion that overflowed in me and I would delight in forgiving and reconciling with others.
I realised the KEY that made ALL the difference- was simply being honest with God, hiding NOTHING, showing Him ALL your ugliness. In this way, the Spirit of truth can confirm you are telling the truth and him being the Helper, will help you find your way out of all your inward ugliness.
John 14: 25
These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you ALL things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
I find that most of us come from charismatic Christian backgrounds, where we are encouraged to search our hearts, confess our sins and make sure we are “clean” before going before the Lord’s holy presence, which I believe is an erroneous teaching. The Scriptures say “come just as you are” and any time we apply this approach, pretending to be holy when we are not, the Spirit of Truth cannot bear witness to it making it impossible for Him to help us out of any unclean feelings, unclean habits or any situations we are struggling with.
Do not be afraid to show the Holy Spirit all your weaknesses, this, I believe, is the only way to make the fastest progress in your Christian walk and fellowship with God.
2nd Corinthians 12: 9 reads;
But he said to me, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” Now I realise that where I thought I was challenging God’s love for me, I was actually showing Him my weaknesses, and in doing so, His strength was made perfect in them. He completely transformed me.
The verse continues;
therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
And what happens when He strengthens you in all of your weaknesses?
Philippians 2: 13 reads; For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him
Do you see that? This means that fulfilling His requirements will not be burdensome or out of any obligation, but that we will automatically be given the desire AND the power to do what pleases Him.
He is our Saviour in EVERYTHING; not just our sins, but in every area in our life that we struggle with. That is the God we serve.
Do you love Him? I know I certainly do. Be blessed.
